(The following "guide" is based on my own experience, but it's not meant to be taken seriously)

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Alright everyone! You wanna know how to become popular on deviantART? Then follow these easy steps and you'll reach popularity in no time!

Step 1: Change your username Make a new account

Whoops, sorry. I thought deviantART had a username-change system, but it doesn't. Looks like you'll have to start over and make a new account! Transfer your faves and the people you watch, because you need a good username if you want to be taken seriously here, and making a new account is the only option for now.

Make sure not to choose the name of an anime character and a bunch of random numbers as your username (naruto12345), choose one that's easy to remember and defines your person. Because seriously, who chooses a random word and random numbers as their username?
...
...moving on.

Step 2: Start making art

The site is called deviantART, so it doesn't matter how well you follow these steps, nobody is going to watch you if your gallery is empty. So start making stuff! Preferably, make things people like. Create fanart of popular stuff. Anime was the best choice a few years ago, but today I'd recommend My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic if you want to get popular fast. (I had about 50 watchers on October 2010. I started making fanart of ponies June 2011. I have 1800+ watchers now. I'm dead serious)

Don't like either, or you just have no artistic talent at all? No problem! Get a kitten, a camera, and start taking pictures of it. Make sure said kitten is the cutest, fluffiest one you can find. If you wanna get serious, find two kittens, and take pictures when they're sleeping, rolled up, cuddling with each other. Make up a cheesy deep, well thought title for it, because it should make people believe it is artistic. BAM! Frontpage!

Step 3: Join groups. All of them

Maybe your art is good, but people still won't stumble upon it. The solution? Join groups! Specially the ones that will actually accept the kind of work you create (which is, the ones with no quality standards). Make sure they're groups with at least 500 watchers or so. Why join small groups when you can join the huge popular ones and spam people's inboxes with your crap at such a fast rate they can't keep up with it? That's sure to draw attention to your profile!

Step 4: Start making art

But this time, make sure it doesn't look like a 3 year old's coloring book. It doesn't matter if you're spamming the Hetalia/Pokemon/MLP groups with your stuff, because if it's not good, people will just ignore you (And most of the time, the groups won't accept it). So stop using MS Paint or taking pictures of your drawings instead of scanning them, nobody likes when you do that.

Step 5: Fave EVERYTHING

It's been a while and people still won't take a look at your art. You're getting desperate. Don't panic, this never fails! Just fave every single deviation you see, and give a llama to every single person you can find (don't forget to watch them too!). Most of the time, they will click on your profile page and thank you for being so nice and faving their work. If you're lucky, they'll take a look at your art and watch you back. PROFIT!

Step 6: Buy some points

Don't be cheap, you need these for the next steps. Some people can get popular without following them, but that demands time, effort, lots of practice and patience to make great art, and building yourself a reputation among the community. Who wants to go through all that hassle? Certainly not you! Buy as many points as you can. And now...

Step 7: Give away your points

Remember what you did on an earlier step, when you watched every artist you could find? Okay, now do the same, but instead, give them 1 point! It doesn't have to be an artist you like. It doesn't even have to be an artist at all! When that person sees the notice, he's sure to go to your profile and thank you for your generosity. Remember, 80 points = $1, so you can buy get lots of attention for a low price. DOUBLE PROFIT!

Step 8: Make a givaway journal

Do you still have enough points? No? Then buy more, because we're not done yet! This is an easy one, all you have to do is make a journal announcing you're making a givaway, and that will immediately get people's attention. Just say that to participate, they have to comment and fave it. If lots of people do it, chances are your precious little journal will appear at the bottom bar of the site, making it popular, thus, making you popular. TRIPLE PROFIT!

(Remember, you can't tell people that they have to donate points to enter, Lottery style. Apparently that's against dA's ToS, because of course, that means you will get money, instead of them! So horrible!) And what should you give away? Anything from points to Premium Memberships. State a deadline to enter, and say that you'll choose the winner completely randomly. Pfft, whatever, just make an extra account, enter the givaway with it, and say that's the winner. Nobody will notice!

Step 9: Enjoy your popularity!

If you followed these steps, you're sure to get more popular in no time! Sure, people may comment harsh things on your profile and your work, but that's just because they're jealous of you and your incredible art. So just hide their comments and block them. Who needs honest critiques when you can get tons of people to say your art is perfect when it actually sucks? I hope this guide worked for you, and if it didn't, it means you didn't follow it well.

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Okay, there's my "guide". I don't make myself responsible for whatever may happen if you actually decide to do anything on this journal.

Now, totally serious. These steps could make you popular in deviantART, but that doesn't mean you'll automatically be a successful artist in reality. My advice is just to practice, practice, practice:

"Imagine you have several thousand crappy drawings you have to get out of your system before your any good and try your damnedest to get those crappy drawings out as fast as you can."
-Lauren Faust

(I love that quote)

Of course, deviantART is a good place to start sharing your art with others. It doesn't matter whether it's drawings, sculpture, photography, literature, music (Whoops, uploading music isn't possible on the site. F***ing lovely, deviantART staff) or anything else. Just keep practicing and never give up!

By the way, do not fave this. The last thing I want is this crappy journal to take the bottom bar spot of a journal that may have actually been interesting and helpful. I'm just ranting about what I've seen on the site, that's not artistic. But again, most stuff on here isn't artistic either, right? (By the way, I'll classify this journal as "deviantart, Inc.>Help & FAQ" for the sake of parody)